Thursday, July 26, 2007

Vision-Confetti In The Dark

Confetti In The Dark 9" x 12" Acrylic on Paper

The dark fog changed to total darkness after the injection in my eye. I sat alone, unable to see anything, in the examining room. I held tight to the arms of the leather covered chair.

From the top right side of my vision, tiny bits of colored rectangles began raining down. It was as if there was confetti being sprinkled down on a parade. The particles became heavier and heavier. Soon, bits of silver and gold sparkled among the confetti.

A bit of light struck parts of the rain of confetti. "This reminds me of a big parade at night. Maybe in New York," I told myself.

This was getting a little more interesting than it was frightening. There was a nagging worry about what might be happening to me. And, there was no one there to ask. I hadn't been told to expect these things . Just told to sit and wait. It was still hot, followed by a feeling of cold, and my stomach hurt a little. "Just nerves," I thought. But, if I were having a reaction or side effects, no one would know until they came in to check on me later.

After all, this treatment had only been approved a few months ago. While it held much hope, according to all I had read, I felt sure that there were unknowns. At $2,000 a shot, it should be really good. Still, I had to believe what I had been told, and hope that it would truly improve my vision and save it from getting worse.

I wondered whyI was seeing all this confetti falling. Why was it so dark when I had just seen bubbles in a light spot. "It's the medicine," the doctor had told me about the bubbles before he left. Okay, the medicine might be going in my eye as bubbles, and I guessed they might be just changing shape into colorful squares.

"What next?" I wondered, hoping that this would soon be over. Afraid that, when it was over, everything would stay black. Was this the start of my Journey Into Darkness?

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