Vision-Latest Eye Exam

Eye Exam

5" x 7"

watercolors and ink

I had my eyes checked last week, after a few years of just getting by with cataracts and wet Macular Degeneration in one eye.

You can read more about my experiences and see the pictures that illustrate my experiences by looking in my older posts. All the posts on my eye experiences are prefaced with the word VISION.

During this latest exam, in the top picture, I guess my right brain was working, and, for some reason, I was looking for a picture! I was trying to make out a landscape with a house, or barn and silo, and figure out what might be in the sky-birds? clouds? Suddenly, it occured to me that this was the biggest letter on the chart! -a big E! I was so surprised!

I struggled through a few lines of the smaller letters. They were mostly fuzzy and I had to take my best guess.

I couldn't see the chart at all with my left eye. I have a lot of scarring from the AMD on the macula in that eye, I was told. I assumed that, already.

The dr. said that my vision in my right eye has changed because of cataracts, and I'm nearsighted in that eye. He believed that my vision would be greatly improved if I get rid of the cataracts.

In the second picture, the nurse or technician, who was taking care of me, put in drops, checked pressure, and did some preliminary tests. Like this one. She started with her fingers in front of her, then moved them out, asking if I could see her fingers. I could see the tips of her fingers, when she extended them out, but I couldn't see her, except for her legs on the stool and a bit of the top of her head.

In the third picture, I had my face resting on the machine with the dr. shining bright lights into my eyes. He told me to look at his nose. He told me to look at his ear. To look to the left, etc. I had to laugh because I couldn't see his face! Just the top of his head and a bit of his shoulder. I had to guess where his nose and ear might be!

These were done in ink and watercolor on 5" x 7" sketchbook paper.

I took my series of pictures to show what I had been going through. They seemed to enjoy the work. However, I still wonder why I couldn't see anything but a black background with green squiggles in the DPS office, when I went to renew my license. I could see the letters in the doctors' offices, but not in that little box. Very strange.

I thought, it is odd that I can now read without my glasses, except for very tiny print.

*******

I was sad to hear of several deaths.

The first was Thelma Cunningham, age 105. I enjoyed talking to her at St. Joseph's Manor. She was proud of her artist grandson and urged me to go see his work. Since I had an interest in being a nurse, it helped that she had been a surgical nurse and her first husband had been a doctor. I'll bet she could have taught the current nurses and doctors a thing or two.

Another death was reported on the Roots list. Oklahoma story teller and veteran, Paul Odle, has died. I enjoyed sharing stories of growing up in the 1930s and 40s with Paul. People on the list looked forward to his stories about his hometown of Yukon, Oklahoma. His stories appeared in his hometown newspaper, and, he said that he had published some of his work in books. I know that a lot of people will miss him and his stories.

I haven't heard a word about this one on the news, but someone shared this on the Texas Scottish Festival List. Author Frank McCourt died. His story about his mother was told in his first big best seller, "Angela's Ashes".

I really enjoyed hearing McCourt talk, when he appeared on tv. He certainly will be missed.

********

We finally got quite a bit of rain the other night. But there were storms. Lots of pictures of funnel clouds and damage, mainly to the south and east of us. We got 3-4 inches of rain, while College Station got 7 inches and over toward Snook and Caldwell, got 9 inches of rain.

The National Weather Service said today that there was not a tornado touchdown, however. Pictures and eyewitnesses said a bit different. The news had said that it might have been an F-0, a very weak tornado. That was stronger than most of us want to experience!

We had another shorter downpour the next morning. At least it has cooled the temperatures a bit. But it brought out the Fire Ants.

*******

Vision-The Eye Chart

The Eye Chart

January 8, 2008

5.25" x 8.25"

watercolors

Yesterday, I sat in my aunt's eye doctors' examining room with her while she had her annual eye exam. My aunt is in a wheel chair, so she needed to have someone there with her. She has one bad eye, that she truly can't see out of, and was using only reading glasses until last year. We determined that she can see much better with glasses, so they gave her some to wear all the time.

They went through putting drops in her eyes,and covering each eye, shining a light in her eyes. All the things they do in an eye exam. They had to keep directing her where to look. But, she actually read the letters as they flashed on a mirror beside where I was sitting.

I looked, too, to see what she was looking at and even checked the wall behind her, where the letters were displayed on a wall.

I was getting a little distressed. I didn't even think to close each eye and look, but I did try to see the test she was taking. I couldnt' make out any letters, while my aunt was able to read some of the letters.

The above painting shows several of the rows of letters that was shown to her, as I saw them.

For the large letters, I saw a simple diamond ring with a cold, blue stone in it. On the opposite end, there was a gift wrapped package, with a red ribbon and a bow on top. In the center, there was an abstract purple shape. In another row of letters of a different size, there seemed to be stylized shapes that resembled flowing letters, but with holes in them, like lace. One seemed to have something like a broken pencil or popsicle stick on one side of it. The smaller lines of letters were just a bunch of scratchy marks on gray.

I do realize that this is leaning a bit, and that my lines are not straight. But remember that I was sitting to one side, out of the way, looking into a mirror in a darkened room. Things were not straight or even as I looked into that mirror.

This reminded me of the eye exam I had a year ago, to renew my drivers license. Two eye doctors told me that my eyes were good enough to pass that drivers test. But, when I got there, all I could see was a black background with some green squiggles instead of letters. ( I have a painting about that called "Vision-Ready To Go" in my archives on the sidebar.) When I got my Lucentis injection, just before that exam at the DPS, and as soon as I was pronounced ready to go, I could see the eye chart in the room. I could make out letters, although some were blurry and overlapped, but I could still make them out. So why couldn't I see any letters on the eye test at the DPS office?

I wondered, yesterday, if this was my imagination, if something was not connecting with my brain, or is it the Macular Degeneration and cataracts. Maybe he was giving her a different kind of test, like they might give to children, where there are objects instead of letters. But, no, that couldn't be. She was telling the doctor what letters were there, and he was reacting to that.

So, I knew there were letters that I should be seeing.

"One of these days, I may have to get these cataracts taken care of, " I commented to the tech lady or whatever her job is called now. (I would have said nurse, but there are so many different people working in doctors' offices these days, that I don't know who is what unless I ask them.)

I expected her to say something like, "Oh, do you have a problem? We do that here." Instead, she just said a disinterested "Oh".

I didn't mention the AMD or ask any questions. After all, this was not the doctor I had been to. But, I really don't have a doctor, and just saw a doctor that I had gone to many years before when I thought I needed glasses last year. And he immediately sent me to a Retina Specialist, who won't see me anymore due to his demand for payment of thousands of dollars, before each visit, or much better insurance than I have. So, I'm kind of shopping around to see who might be interested in me and my health, at an affordable price. I guess that person no longer exists.

I didn't mention the fact that their letters looked like objects to me, but now I am wondering why I saw things the way that I did.

"Okay, we'll see you next year!" the tech lady said as she wheeled my aunt to the door.

As I stood up, I could see some of the letters still reflected on the wall. Those were thick, black letters, and not a sign of an object, or anything that looked like an object among them. And, there certainly was no color.

Maybe, in my mind, I just made up a more interesting eye chart. I'll bet I could make a story out of the eye chart as I saw it yesterday.

Look back in my Archives for more of my art work and experiences with Macular Degeneration. All of those posts are prefaced with the word "Vision".

Also, read my post from yesterday where I began telling about a website that has an online test for Macular Degeneration. I have a link to MyVisionTest in my sidebar under Eye Sites.

Virginia Vaughan has announced that her book of some of her paintings about "The Last Year On The Farm" is out and ready to be ordered. See her blog or website for more information. I have a link to her site under Artists and Authors in my sidebar.

I was struck by the work of artist Russell Baker as I looked at various artists' blogs today. He does lovely work and has some of the most compelling paintings of dogs that you will see. In some of his work, he shows dogs that have encountered terrible circumstances. Some of the stories will just tear at your heart, especially if you love animals and life. I've put a link to Russ, as well, for you to take a look at.

I hope that you enjoy my blog, and that you will pass it on to others who might be interested. Please let me know if you find something of interest to you. And be sure to stop by and sign my Guest Book at the very bottom of my page. Scroll all the way down to the very end of my blog.

Getting the Diagnosis

Getting The Diagnosis
What Are You Saying!
watercolor 8" x 12"

The room, with its dim fluorescent lights, seemed to be filled with a soft fog which swirled around the doctor. The shoulder of his white coat stood out, as did the side of his face. Lights reflected in his glasses.
Of course, I wasn't seeing too well, after having my eyes dilated, dye injected into my veins, and extremely bright lights flashed into my eyes. I was about to relax, thinking that the worst part of the visit must be over. My daughter came in to sit in a chair in front of me as the doctor looked over his papers.
I held onto the arms of the elevated examining chair.
The doctor assured me that my vision was good enough to pass the eye exam for renewing my drivers license. He handed me some brochures.
"You are going to lose your vision," he announced.
"What? What is he saying? This can't be happening!" I thought. I felt like my mouth was hanging open, all the way down to my feet, and my eyes were wide open, trying to comprehend. I tried to listen intelligently, but the words were not all coming to me.
"The good news is that there is a new treatment that has just been approved." I wondered how often the doctor made this same speech. He had the words memorized well. I just couldn't catch all of them. Maybe he would "replay" it for me.
"It involves an injection in the eye every four weeks." I could see my daughter grimmace and I caught my breath. He continued without a pause, "The bad news is that each injection is $2,000. And, you will have to come in to have it checked to see how it is doing, in between. Any questions?"
"Shot in the eye!" My daughter gasped.
"$2,000.oo a shot!" I gasped.
"We''ll have to think about that!" My daughter exclaimed. "What if she doesn't get the shots?"
"She will not go totally blind, but she will lose all of her center vision. She won't be able to drive, read, write, watch tv, sew, cook, and a lot of other things. The kind of AMD that she has comes on fast and progresses rapidly."
I couldn't scrape my mouth up off the floor to speak very well. I struggled to act brave, reasonably intelligent, and responsible.
"I'm just a retired teacher. I don't have that kind of money," I explained.
"I understand. But there are foundations that can help. You just need to decide what kind of treatment you want. Go home, read your books, and let us know," he said.
"You are not getting shots in your eye! That's gross!" My daughter said as we left, all the way home in the car, and continued through the next days.
"Lose my vision? What will I do? I can't lose my vision! A needle in my eye! That is worse than gross!" I tried to read the material, and went online to do some research on Wet Macular Degeneration. Everything else was blocked as I tried to grasp what was happening.
My mouth did start to function properly again, but I was still overwhelmed and shocked.
I had always had 20/20 vision.
In 8th grade, I wanted to look as smart as other students who were getting glasses in our school. I convinced a great-aunt to take me to the eye doctor. I could see the chart just fine, but I purposely told the doctor that I was seeing something else, or acted as if it wasn't clear. After all, if I were to get glasses, I was sure that the teachers would give me better grades if I looked smarter! What a shock when the doctor, at the end of the exam, announced that I had 20/20 vision and didn't need glasses! I was so disappointed. I was sure the doctor must have detected every fib. I finally got reading glasses to read grade books and attendance sheets almost 40 years later.
When I was about in 5th grade, there was a radio program from Dallas where people could write in questions and someone would look up answers, then answer them on the radio. I wrote in to ask the meaning of my name. The person read the answer saying that the name was Italian and meant "blind". I remembered this as I searched for information on AMD. Maybe that was predestination.
I also thought of a great-aunt who had gone blind due to cataracts, before many people were getting cataract surgery. I'm sure that they didn't operate because she was a widow with little money. That was so sad, to think how people, even in the hospital and nursing home, would steal her things, with her sitting right there. And worse to think that it could have been prevented with cataract surgery.
Still, I didn't want to consider a needle in my eye, or someone cutting on my eye.

The Grid

The Grid 5.5" x 7.5" watercolor

It was time. I thought I would go in a bit early, before my drivers license would expire on my birthday, and get my eyes checked. I knew that going in, as the notice stated, would require an eye test. I guessed that my age would require this, after years of just renewing by mail. And, I was sure that, with the funny things that had been going on with my eyes, I would need some glasses.
I had given up on going back to the doctors where I had been going for years. I lost my good insurance when I retired. Knee replacement surgery was in the works, but I had to drop that idea. I couldn't afford to pay two insurance companies premiums, teacher retirement plus Medicare, plus pay deductables, copays, and whatever insurance wouldn't pay. Teacher retirment insurance was all I could manage, and I really needed that money for other things. When I retired, I was told that I was not eligible for Social Security since they had changed the way they do things. Low paying jobs, when I was younger, didn't pay enough to give me the quarters I needed. During the time of those jobs, I was told that I would be so glad when I retired, that I had struggled with my little paychecks so that I would have that money when I got older. I just threw that money away, and I sure could have used it at the time! I would never see a dime of it.
Texas teachers don't get Social Security, but have a separate retirement plan. If someone has worked other jobs, or if they are eligible for their spouses Social Security, then they will have both checks on retirement. I'm not sure about all the details of it, since it wouldn't apply to me.
I was told that I would have to apply for an individual policy with the clinic where we had our group insurance when I retired. I did, and after years of being with them, they turned me down. They said they didn't have to explain why. Which I thought was kind of a hateful attitude. I had my certain doctors to use and had not found any others who I trusted in town. But, I found that if I had Medicare, plus teacher retirment insurance, I could continue to see my doctors. That worked for a while until I could no longer afford to buy medicine or pay the copays and deductables. And, Medicare went up, so I couldn't afford that either.
I cut out going to the doctor, prescription medicine, along with Medicare, the newspaper, drinking water, my car, getting my hair fixed, clothes, shoes-anything that I could possibly cut, in order to get along on my reduced income after retirement.
I called the office of the Opthamologist who I had gone to before we got the good insurance with a clinic. I asked about the cost of an eye exam, and made an appointment. Then, I borrowed the $132.50 to pay for it.
The appointment was a week away, but, then they called and changed the date to the following week.
I went into the doctor's office, armed with my cash to pay for the visit, and worrying that glasses would be an added expense. I took an old pair of glasses, thinking I could use the old frames, at least. I couldn't see a thing through the old glasses and they weren't in style anymore.
My daughter took me since I knew that I would have my eyes dilated.
Paperwork was filled out, and I put my teacher retirement insurance down, just in case they wanted an insurance company. I told the receptionist that I intended to pay for it. She said, "Let's try your insurance first. We'll bill you, if they don't pay."
Whew. That was a relief. Maybe I could use the money to pay for glasses, and the insurance might pay, but I doubted that. I didn't remember seeing that they would pay for eye exams or glasses. But, then, I didn't know a lot about insurance. I only knew that they would probably try not to pay for anything they could. I could worry about the bill after Christmas.
The eye doctor was very nice and I explained why I was there. I wanted my eyes checked before I went to take an eye test for my drivers license, and thought I might need glasses to drive.
The last time I had my eyes checked, I had trouble reading the chart. That doctor said I had the beginnings of cataracts, and to just blink my eyes until it cleared up. I would blink and blink, but it didn't clear up, until later. He said it was too soon to do anything about the cataracts. But, that had been about 3 years ago.
This time, however, I blinked, and I could read most of the chart with one eye, not as much with the other.
The doctor told me that the cataracts still were in the early stages. He left the examining room and returned with a black card with white squares on it. He told me to stare at the dot in the center, with each eye.
Well, that was strange. There was a purple spot in the center, and the lines waved around it.
He left and then returned to the room to dilate my eyes. I looked into the machines and he looked into my eyes. Then he let me sit for a while.
"I guess he must be planning on going out of town or thinking about what he is going to do this weekend, since it is Friday, I thought."
"Well, the good news is that your eyes are good enough to pass the driving test. The bad news is that you have Macular Degeneration in one eye." He handed me a phamplet. I couldn't really read it, though, since my eyes were dilated.
He escorted me to a chair in the hall where I enjoyed looking at the frosted pink light fixtures on the wall. This office was much more tastefully decorated than the previous office I had been to years before. I complimented him on the nice furnishings and the fascinating, soft lights.
"I want you to see a Retina Specialist this afternoon," he announced. "I didn't see any signs of bleeding inside, yet, but, if blood gets in there, it is permanent and they won't be able to fix it."
"My eye was bleeding?" I wondered.
"These things come on suddenly, but there is treatment and they can save your vision, if you get in right away." He led me to the receptionist, took the telephone, and called to make the appointment himself."
He gave me some wrap around plastic dark glasses, but I was just numb and stunned. "Bleeding in my eye! Save my vision! But, don't I just need some glasses? See another doctor this afternoon? What do they do to you?" I didn't even think that I may not have enough money to see another doctor. I decided that I still had the money so I guess I would use that for the second doctor instead of glasses. After all, the doctor had said that my eyes were good enough to pass the eye test, and that's what I had gone for.
The Retina Specialist was out of town that day, according to his receptionist, via phone. So the first receptionist asked information while the other receptionist asked questions. She gave my teacher retirement insurance information. They could take me Monday at noon. The first doctor said that will be alright. I guessed that I wouldn't bleed to death or go blind by then, if he said it was okay. But, that gave me the weekend to worry.
Would they hurt? Would I be able to get my license? I read the phamplet that the doctor gave me. There was a little chart on the back, which I was told to use daily, mark it, and compare it to see if there were any changes in my vision. I thought that I liked the black one in the doctor's office best!
I stared at the dot in the center, with each eye, and with the left eye, there was the purple spot, and the curved lines around it. I used a pencil, lightly, to trace around the edges where the distortion was.
This chart is called an Amsler Grid. There are examples online. I'm still using the little chart on the phamplet. There is a note on the bottom that says to call your doctor right away if you notice any changes.
One reason I started the blog was to share my experiences, as well as memories, with others. I couldn't exactly describe what I was seeing, but I thought that I could show it through a painting or a drawing. I searched on the internet and couldn't find much information about what people with Macular Degeneration were seeing and experiencing. And I didn't see anything about what people with limited funds go through when this happens to them. I don't have all the answers, but, maybe someone will be more prepared when it happens to them. Even those who do have the funds and the insurance need to know what to expect.
Macular Degeneration happens to more and more people as we age. It's called AMD or Age Related Macular Degeneration.
Of course, the point is that, if you, or someone you know, starts seeing horizontal or vertical lines that seem curved instead of appearing straight, it's time to make a fast appointment with your Opthamologist or a Retina Specialist. It comes on suddenly, without warning, without pain, but time is important in getting a diagnosis and treatment.
The small painting that I have posted today shows how I have been seeing the Amsler Grid. Some of the lines not only curve, but they don't connect to show a complete square, in places. There is the ever-present purple spot in the center.
Along with showing my view of the grid, I thought it might be a bit abstract or design-like.
I used Winsor Newton watercolors on 140 pound Strathmore watercolor paper to do this small painting.