Vision-Morning Toast

Morning Toast
Making Toast In The Oven
8" x 12 " watercolors
Each school morning, my grandson and I have breakfast together. We have some nice conversation to start the day off in a calm way, which takes away some of the anxiety we both have. He's always had anxiety about going off to school, but it has been better in the past few years. No more screaming and crying, kicking and resisting, until he has gotten settled in for the day. And I was always in a rush to get dressed and out the door, feeling anxious about going to school, when I was young, and being there as a teacher in later years. I would cry, too, when I was in school, and my mother had to even chase me to school with a switch or the hairbrush-even to graduation. I wanted to stay at home. Some days, even when I was teaching, I could imagine my mother coming closer with her switch or her hair brush, urging me to hurry up and get to school before I was late.
Now, I fix breakfast for the young one, and we sit and talk, or even watch "Sponge Bob" on tv. His favorite breakfasts are French Toast, although I have a lot of trouble with consistency on that, and toast and juice. I try to sneak in some fruit with the juice and toast. Oatmeal was good, but he got tired of that. He did love cheese toast, but eventually tired of that, too. So, I put butter in each corner of bread, put it on a pan, and under the broiler in the oven to toast. I tried a toaster and a toaster oven, but oven toast is just the best. He likes this even more than cinnamon toast. Sometimes, I make the pats of butter form a happy face, or something appropriate for the day. Later in the day, we may even have toast with soup, or just for a snack.
"I wonder what has happened to bread!" I said as I put the bread on a cookie sheet. "I used to put four slices of bread on this pan and it filled it up. Now, I have to use six or eight slices of bread to fill the pan. Even when I make sandwiches, I have to make two sandwishes to be as large as one sandwich used to be. And, not to mention the smell and the taste. What ever happened to that good, sweet, yeasty smell of bread! We used to drive past the big bread bakeries in the cities, and that smell was so good! Just like another tourist attraction. Now, you can hardly smell anything, even if you put your nose right on the bread. It has about as much taste as cardboard too. Goodness only knows where it comes from. It's probably made in some foreign place, like everything else these days, frozen, and shipped a long way to us, and passed off as being fresh. I guess they cut corners in ingrediants so we have to pay a lot more and get a lot smaller bread. Or, maybe some do-gooder is trying to make us eat less. It doesn't work. We just have to eat twice as much."
I put the pan in the oven, leaving the door open so I could take the pan out when the butter melted and the edges turned golden. The cheap pan began to curl up like a piece of plastic. "I'll bet that supposedly metal pan is really covered with plastic, is why it curls up like that. We're probably getting poisoned from that pan, even though it is new." I complained as I watched.
My sister had explained to me that you need the vision in both eyes to have depth perception. At this point of my Wet Macular Degeneration, I caught myself closing the affected eye often, attempting to clear things up that I looked at. I hadn't noticed a problem with depth at all. Just having trouble reading things at a little distance, things were wavey, blurred, had spots sometimes, and colors like blue and black, beige and lavendar, green and purple, were a bit of trouble to distinguish except in the sunlight.
"It's ready!" my grandson advised me that the toast was just right to take from the oven. I picked up the hot pad and reached for the pan. As I lifted the pan from the oven, I touched my hand to the top of the stove. It felt hot, but really didn't hurt that much. But, I could see the red from the top burner on my hand.
I put the toast on plates and my grandson took the plates to the table attached to the couch. I ran cold water over my hand as an angry red welt formed. I didn't know why I ever put my hand on the top of the oven. There was plenty of room, and I never had missed the correct space for moving my hand away safely before.
I put antibiotic ointment on my hand and a large bandage to protect it.
"Now that was a stupid thing to do," I lectured myself after everyone had gone off to school. I put the dishes in the sink and turned on "The Golden Girls" to watch as I finished my toast. It was nice to wave goodbye to everyone as they went off to school, while I could leisurely eat some breakfast, watch tv, or even go back to bed, if I wanted. I would have to remember to pull my hand out of the oven lower, the next time, though. I guess it would be easier to use a toaster.
This painting makes me think of the book, "Burnt Toast", which was given to us at the George Bush Library last spring by the author, Teri Hatcher, of tv fame. The book certainly has her voice. It reads just as if you are listening to her talk. Thanks to Teri for the book. That was really a nice surprise at the leadership program hosted by former president Bush. Other participants were Harriet Miers, Eileen Collins, and Chris Evert. Some days, I end up with the title to Hatcher's book-burnt toast in my oven, and I have to start over.
"Morning Toast" was painted with Winsor Newton watercolors on 140# strathmore watercolor paper.

Vision-Watching TV

TV Stars 9" x 12 " watercolors

There had not been any more wavey vertical or horizontal lines, or faces with sunflowers in front. I was even able to read the newspaper, most magazines, and books with decent sized print without reading glasses. I used those for smaller print, when I had a lot of reading to do and, before I retired, for forms like roll and grade sheets. I had to use the glasses a lot when I was still teaching.

I was watching tv, something I do a lot of. Some of it was not all that clear. At lunch, I liked to have a sandwich while I watched the British comedies on tv. It was like having lunch with a friend. But, in order to make out the faces, or specific scenery, I had to stand up and walk over closer to the tv set. Sometimes, at night, while watching programs with the family, I would sketch or read my book. I wasn't all that interested in the programs, but it was time together while the younger crowd enjoyed what they wanted to watch.

I was also having to ask the younger folks what time it was, or what the words were on tv. I could read them, if I walked over to the tv set.

One night, I was watching one of the late night talk shows in which Phyllis Diller was a guest. How odd! She seemed to have two mouths, two noses, two sets of eyes and eyebrows, two jaws, while her neck and body were normal. I grabbed my watercolor paper. Then Jimmy Kimmel was on and he seemed to have two faces in profile, with his facial features a bit distorted. A man playing the piano seemed to have three heads in different positions while he was actually just sitting there, not moving around much. I switched to Jay Leno and he, too, had two mouths, double eyes and nose, as well as the side of his face appeared to be doubled. I sketched them to remember what I was seeing.

Lines of print were double and fuzzy, and had a wave in them, similar to what the venetian blinds looked like previously. I added a few lines of print to my sketch.

The next day, as I was watching one of my favorite British comedies, "As Time Goes By", Judi Dench seemed to have a very distorted face. A very long, curved nose, double eyes, cheeks, and lips, as well as the side of her face. She had on a wide brimmed hat and a suit, which were clear. Goeffrey Palmer also had a distorted face, with a long, curved nose, while the rest of him was clear. I sketched them, too, then added watercolors.

In the mail, I received a notice that it was time to renew my drivers license. I was sure that, at my age, that would involve an eye test. With what was going on with my vision, I feared I would need glasses.

I had been using some $5 reading glasses and a pair of drugstore glasses that I had for years. The doctor had given me a prescription for glasses at the last visit, as he said my distance vision had changed slightly. But, he added, I really didn't need them. Drugstore glasses would do just as well, if I felt I needed something. I stuck with my little cheap glasses, which worked for me.

But that had been a couple of years ago, so I thought my vision must have changed and that's why things were looking funny.

Problem was, paying for a copay and glasses. I couldn't afford Medicare anymore, and had lost my good insurance when I retired. I still had retired teachers insurance, which required people to have Medicare as well. They would pay for very little. My income had dropped to about 1/3 of what I made while I worked, but expenses kept going up.

I had quit taking medicine or going to doctors after I found how little the insurance would pay. Even when I had both Medicare and retirement insurance, they wouldn't pay for a lot of things, including the ambulance to take me to the ER when I couldn't get out of bed due to my knees. ( I still think that was extremely necessary, but they didn't. Their information didn't say that ambulance transport was only for life threatening situations, which is why they said they wouldn't pay. ) I could manage some drugstore glasses, but not the kind with a prescription, or a doctor's visit.

One more expense to have to worry about, but I had until after Christmas to renew my license. So, I just put that in the back of my mind. I was sure that glasses were in order, but feared that they might tell me that the cataracts were causing my problems. I tried not to think about it, and prayed that I only needed something that was really cheap.

I wasn't driving, due to my knees, anyway, so it could wait until Christmas was over. The distortions were just a minor inconvenience as I watched tv or tried to see the time on the clock on the cable box or the stove. That could be remedied by asking someone, or getting up and walking closer.

Painful knees and feet (from nerve damage), fluid, and other things like the need for money, seemed to be more pressing, but I couldn't do anything about those, either.

I thought that the tv stars might either get a laugh, or be upset, if they realized how I see them from a little distance.

Some glasses would solve the problem, I was sure.