Vision-Fractured Flashing Crystals

Fractured Flashing Crystals
8" x 12"
watercolors
Soft afternoon sun filtered through the lace curtains in my narrow bathroom window and washed the wall beside the window and part of the shower door with pale yellow. A thick purple towel hung on the shower door and a pink net "poof" hung inside the shower. This room, with its slanted roof and wallpaper with purple flowers, was a cozy place-a refuge that somehow reminded me of the bathroom that had been added onto my grandmother's house before I was born.
Over the years, I have spent a lot of time, just looking out the bathroom window in many places I have lived. Sometimes, I just watched the clouds, or wondered what was happening just over the hill, watched animals outside, or the changing seasons.
I don't look out this window very often, though. The window has frosted glass, and it is fairly small, and it has the lace curtain covering it. I have other spaces in the house, now, with better windows to look out of.
This particular afternoon in March, however, as I walked into the bathroom, I saw a curving line that resembled the outside edge of my eyelids around my eye that has wet Macular Degeneration. But, instead of a distinct line, this line was made up of parts of the shower, broken up into bits and pieces of glass or crystals. I called it fractured, flashing images inside crystal or glass shapes. The light and images were not steady, but, instead, seemed to flash or have changing light as opposed to a steady image.
I blinked, I closed my eyes, I rubbed my eyes, but the image remained as long as I looked in the direction of the shower. I went into the bedroom and put a cool washcloth over my eyes. The image disappeared when I left the bathroom.
More abstract art for me to paint. But this was too real. I would prefer to make up something, or to paint or draw more freely, rather than trying to portray what I was seeing as abstract art.

Vision-Another Night of TV

Another Night of Watching TV
7.5" x 12"
watercolors
Sometimes, it seems like I can see from inside my eye. That happened at the eye doctor's office. Now I was seeing some of the inside of my eyelid. There was a lot of light around the eyelid and in the room.
I could see a little bit of the picture on the wall behind the tv set. Faces of the people who were on the tv program, were distorted in shape and in color. There was a "C" shape to the left that moved around, along with clusters of specks. These are the floaters that are often present.
After the injection in my eye, my eye seemed to water a lot and I had to keep wiping with tissues. I thought it might be just the usual sinus trouble. But, now, my eyelashes felt like they were woven together, keeping my eyes from opening completely. They also formed a curtain of sorts that I was trying to see through. They opened just enough in the center for me to see part of the tv, or whatever I might be looking at. I could just barely make out the rest of the room.
Added to the curtain of eyelashes, were what felt like big rocks-hard, golden blocks firmly stuck in my woven eyelashes. I used warm washcloths, to soften the rocks. But my eyelashes felt a little greasey and the rocks kept returning, for over a week.
The technician in the specialist's office had warned me about using some of the eyedrops that are over the counter meds used for red eyes. He said that some of those would dry or irritate the eyes. I wasn't using any of those, so I knew that was not the problem.
I didn't think that my eyelashes were long enough to actually weave together, but that's how they felt and appeared from my view. I kept pulling them apart, but as soon as I moved my fingers, the woven curtain returned. The situation did make it difficult to watch tv or focus on anything.
Anxiety, fear, frustration, sadness, anger can all fill the days and nights while you are torn with whether to just give up or to be determined and fight against something you can't do anything about. It seemed to be the only thing to do was to record it through paint, paper, and words, and hope that answers will come, and sharing might help someone else who will encounter AMD (Macular Degeneration). I don't have answers or help, but I can tell what happened to me.
I hope that you will share my blog with others who might be interested. And look at the links I have given on the right side of my page under Authors and Artists, and Interesting Links. Let me know if you see something of interest to you. I welcome your comments and your support.

Vision-Male Brown Eyes

Male Brown Eyes
Looking At me
8" x 12"
watercolors

The pink swirling clouds that seemed to fill the room after the injection in my eye began to fade to an area of soft light. The female green eye that was revealed in the center of the pink clouds, now changed to two brown male eyes with a little more of the face showing. The skin became more beige or cream colored, where it had previously been the skin tones of someone with red hair. More of a realistic, light flesh tone, now. The entire area showing both eyes, eyebrows, and a bit of the nose, cheeks, and forehead, were directly in front of me. There was a slight tinge of orange on the eyeballs, in the corners and around the lids. Light reflected in the large pupils.

I pushed my head back against the headrest. It was uncomfortable to have this face so close in front of me. But was it really even there?

"Who are you? Why are you here?"

No answers. He just stared at me. He was unfomfortably real.

I was sure, logically, that no one else was in the room with me. But, still, this face was right in front of me. It had changed form from a sideview man with blue eyes and red hair to that man's eye, turning to look at me. Then it had changed to a female green eye, and now it was a male with brown eyes, and both his eyes were staring at me.

I still waited alone, for someone to tell me everything was alright and I could go home.

All I could do was to enjoy the art show, and hope it would soon be interrupted and come to an end. It was keeping me entertained while I waited. Maybe there was someone here with me, to keep me from being being so nervous about the shop, someone to keep me from being bored since I couldn't entertain myself with drawing or even looking at a magazine. Perhaps he was trying to send me some sort of message. Perhaps he was not there at all and was just medicine from the shot floating around in my eye. He seemed too real to be just bubbles of liquid floating around inside my eye.

"Male Brown Eyes" was painted on 140 pound Strathmore watercolor paper with Winsor Newton watercolors. Again, the yellows show up in the scan above, more than they do in the original painting.